beautiful disaster.

Es tu sonido un canto a flor de piel,

Son tus acordes un grito de pasión.

god blessed the broken roads.

I am so happy that sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it. Then, every once in a while, I feel like this is the best thing happened to me and that good things happen to people who wait for them, right? I am so happy that it makes me want to vomit, laugh and cry at the same time. I am so happy. 

The only problem with this state of mind is that now that my happiness in, let's say, over-reachable levels, every tiny bad detail really feels bad. And when it's not that tiny, when it's something as huge as the distance between the people you love and you, or the fact that the person you like loves someone else more, you are so close to give up, and yet you do everything to keep the happy bubble, and the bubble remains stronger than ever, and you don't know what you feel because what you feel cannot be real. What you feel is something indescribable. Something extraordinary. Exactly such as the things that cause you to feel like that, friendship and love. 

never mind.

1. name, age, birthday, hobbies, favorite music:  Iina, 19, 19/03, hanging out, christmas carols
2. the meaning behind your blog url: the most beautiful word in italian and the word "beautiful" in front of it.
3. how have you changed in the past 2 years: a lot more confidence, I only keep the people I want close to me, don't accept everything just because everyone else thinks so (and can disagree), to say NO, to say SURE, accept myself as I am.
4. what you wear to bed: a purple tee and snoopy 3/4 pants.
5. something that pisses you off: arrogant people.
6. talk about the first time you met your friends: I am too lazy to do this, for example school events and trip to Spain!
7. five things that irritate you about the same sex? opposite sex?: About women: 1) the beauty concept 2) the way they treat other women that they don't know 3) the fact that they worry about themselves too much 4) the fact that they are so bloody damn beautiful 5) when they wear mini skirts and look like hookers. About men: 1) all they think about is sex 2) they cannot keep places clean 3) the fact that they are able to do more things than women in general, such as load more weight on their shoulders 4) the ability of not-to-show-feelings that they have 5) the machos.
8. screenshot your desktop: noooo.
9. your opinion on cheating on people: sucks and a big time. Basically the end of a relationship, I think.
10. your favorite song and why it’s your favorite song: Heijaste-Oikea because there is a huge memory lane associated with it that I can't get rid of, and because A-J's voice is heaven and the lyrics. Ah.
11. the best thing to happen to you this week: mm the birthday parties tomorrow = seeing people. I hope.
12. ten things about you that people wouldn’t expect: TEN? Holy macarony I don't know. Well okay. 1) I love dancing (shocker) 2) (I'm having problems with number two, already??!) I like to talk 3) My favorite movie genre is romantic comedy 4) I like Hannah Montana 5) I used to do a lot of performances in front of rather big audiences when I played piano 6) I swear in every other language except in Finnish. A lot. 7) I have participated in a fashion show, where I also made a coreography to our dance group's performance 8) I don't like flowers except them white lilies 9) I love to sit in the mall, alone, and watch all the people who pass me by 10) I used to play guitar in a band.
13. what kind of person attracts you: a sarcastic one, a bit crazy, artistically talented (eg. a musician, a good dancer, a dude who loves to paint), a good cooker, person who speaks many languages, person who sticks behind of his words, bloggers, person who wears converses, a long haired guy, a latin girl, a confident person.
14. five things you want to say to five people: no this is way too long, I don't have time for this. just generally, I love you.
15. something you hate: I don't hate. hating is for people who don't have anything to love. okay, I hate it when my cell phone's battery dies and I am stuck in the middle of Barcelona alone without money.
16. something you love: my friends.
17. the person you like and why you like them: my big brother, because he reminds me of my dad somehow.
18. your last kiss: a random Spanish guy at a club, his taste remained in my mouth for days, mmmm. Not.
19. your opinion on religion: I love Jesus.
20. your opinion on drugs: I hate how they drive some people into such a horrible condition.
21. your opinion on alcohol: some people get funnier as they take it, but for me it wouldn't be worth the money. or who knows.
22. the last fight or argument you had: with mama about, well, everything.
23. your family is like (siblings): two brothers and mom and a dog. except the dog.
24. the nicest thing you’ve ever done: I have never felt so good than when in Egypt, we were traveling somewhere in the middle of nowhere, in some tiny village, and this cutest little boy came to sell a piece of rock he'd made into some sort of a shape, and he wanted to sell it so badly that he only asked one dollar for it. So after everyone else ignored him totally, I had to go and buy it, I asked his name, whether he spoke English (he said he did, but I don't think he spoke too much, he was so young) and gave a few bucks for the stone. After that, he waved so gratefully at me to the bus window that my heart melted.
25. something you’re really excited for: tomorrow? I am not only excited but nervous as well.
26. three pictures of yourself: I don't think so.
27. something you’re worrying about: tomorrow and our christmas dinner and next year and the new school.
28. two good things that happened recently: 1) I made the move in some relationships 2) december came.
29. three things you want to change about yourself: 1) add even more confidence 2) my habit of being on facebook before going to sleep 3) stop the lazinesssss
30. how you’ve changed this month: I started to talk in Spanish, I realized a couple of things how I want my future to be, I realized who my true friends are and of whom I love the most.