that's like chasing rainbows and coming home empty.

I have always been into words. The more words you can use, the more sophisticated ( =cooler =sweeter =more likable person) you appear to me, the more complicated combinations of different letters you say out loud, that makes you so much more special. I bet everyone who knows me even barely, can recognize this feature from me - to some extent at least. I absolutely love puns, and I use them in everyday situations in life, yes, well, probably mom has noticed it although she doesn't understand a half of them. In addition, language lessons have been my favorites since I first started to read German in the third grade, and even before that, learning how to spell words and how to form letters during Finnish lessons was the paradise of school. 


Yet this whole talking exercise is rather difficult for me; I stand behind my words, but merely can write down the emotions and feelings. I have never regretted anything I have said more than one or two seconds, but have been so many times in regret for the things I never got to say because of this entire fear of being wrong, being unaccepted, being unwanted. How emo. No matter which language is in question, my mouth stammers theoretically as I try to express myself in words out loud. A bit like Noah reading poetry in The Notebook, with the difference that it is just mainly cute in his case. How can I cope if it's so hard for me to say thank you to people? What about the following:





Maybe I should just rely on writing, leave the words for someone else. Music is the back up out-loud language after all.