this one's for the torn down, the experts at the fall / for the ones who stand, for the ones who try again.

There's still hope. There's still that one person who needs you more than you need yourself. There's still a soul, your soul, that cannot be replaced and a heart that means everything to somebody. 


Why do we fall sir? So we might learn to pick ourselves back up. - Batman Begins
Why must we constantly hit ourselves over the head with a hammer? Because it feels so good when we stop. - Grey's Anatomy



Someone said: “Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'” 

i should go before my will gets any weaker.

Speaking of the things, I have a thing for you. A very impatient thing. 

I need want a distraction.

its empty promise hides the truth.

I have a thing for vampires, werewolves, zombies, mermaids, pirates, angels, fairies, ghosts, unicorns, DEMONS, trolls, spirits, reapers, elves, pixies, phoenixes, witches, dragons, centaurs, minotaurs, griffins and all the other supernatural creatures I forgot to mention. I also have a huge thing for Jared Padalecki's back. Enjoy that. 


And all I really did was watching Elisa di Rivombrosa. 

i want a hope that burns like a fire in me / the falling rain can bring a change.

Boats symbolize change. Boats, sea and the endlessness of them both together remind me of the journey that will change everything. Now or in the eternity, I don't really care. I'm waiting for it, but more than that, I want to live this moment, feel every raindrop on my skin. Rain feels good. It is pure and it is special, it has some qualities that make even city feel like countryside - although sometimes you wish you had taken an umbrella with you when it's becomes stormy. Today it was, saw lightnings in my mirror coming from outside and a beautiful, mysterious weather with noisy thunder. As if the change comes. Sneaking at first and then hitting you hard. 


There is this beauty in rain, like the child's beauty in the following picture. How can someone look so beautiful, slightly hurt, but extremely cute? 



Regardless of the last two years, I'm very happy of the place where I am standing right now. I feel like that girl, maybe a bit thoughtful, sometimes feeling blue, but still being happy inside. Yellow is the color for happiness. Color yourself. Make a change. You are beautiful and special, just like sun and rain at the same time (and someone smart once said that life is like a rainbow, you need both sun and rain to make its colors appear). I am ready to begin, I am ready to continue. I am ready to be here and there, at the same time, make my dreams come true, carry out my hundred things, start playing piano again, feel the music, feel everything more emotionally than before, feel with heart, feel with soul, feel con todo mi cuerpo, be happy. Because inside that little person says that it's the bloody damn time - it has been the time for quite a long time already. 


And may you receive this Irish blessing: “May you always have walls for the winds, a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire, laughter to cheer you, those you love near you and all your heart might desire.” 

i want to feel all the chemicals inside, i want to feel.

Don't tell me if I'm dying, I don't want to know. 
What if you only had that often thought one day left? What would you do? 


Would you dance? 

Would you drink the best hot chocolate ever?

Would you get a tattoo?

Would you make love? 

Would you write a letter?



You don't have to, you know that. You could just lie in your bed, dream and keep the power you already have. You can try and remember how your skin feels like, how the morning coffee tastes in different parts of the tongue, how the wind shakes the trees and how the silence in your room is not complete. 
You should try to be. 
I think I might and do that sometime soon, even though I'm not dying. I want to live, peacefully, without any rush. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made me smile. I want to remember how the sun smiles, how my best friend opens the door and how people stop staring if you take a glance long enough. Do you also want to be? Oh, and how would you like if I wrote you a love letter?

what if i fall and hurt myself.

I am YOU ARE a negative post-war effect
the taste in your old bottle of Chardonnay, a forgiven child
and a lost case. 


I am YOU ARE that weak girl without limits, a Yale University dreamer, 
Bella Foschia without bella and without foschia and without knowledge of any further Italian
a policy of love and care and understanding.
A bitch. And the wife of one time traveler, a wounded angel, a nonaddictive opium, 
but listen --


I am me. You are you. I am you are the copywriter of my YOUR own story, the lover of my YOUR life, 
my best friend, my worst enemy, a reform and an enlightenment.
I am probably the one I so frigging badly want to be. At least soon. 



No, I have mistaken. You are all of that, too. 

you need to feel just to know that you're alive.

You rock my world. 

the rain starts to pour.

We don't need no shelter. We can stand there without clothes, feeling every drop on our skins and we would still be able to smile. Even with the wind. Even when everything else falls apart. 
We will all be fine and we will make it perfect. We don't need good luck, because we've got the skills. We've got the talent and we've got the trust on ourselves. We've got the strength that some are lacking. We have the IT factor and we will use it. 


These three weeks that will start tomorrow are important, but they are not my entire life. Yesterday I realized that my life is not about things, it's not about successes or about winning, it's not dependent upon the things I own or the moves that I make. Love still exists. God exists. My best, dear friends who bring me the greatest amount of happiness, they all exist. And the place, where I am right now, inside or outside, in the rain or in the sauna, is a hell of a good place to be. 


I pray for those, who don't have that, and I promise I will go and help them someday. But at the moment, I have to concentrate on myself, just for a while, just for three weeks, and then...